Duh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh, Batman!

Sooo, last night at ten thirty we went and saw The Dark Knight. SUCH a good movie. We got home around two in the morning, and I was hungry, tired, and fiesty (or "frisky," as Breanna would say). We warmed up frozen pizzas to eat and hit the pillows around three or so. We planned on learning the dance from Superstar and doing a few others things, but we were way beyond tired. About six hours later, we got up and anxiously waited for Nathan to finish cooking breakfast. It was sooo good. :) When we finished breakfast, Shelby, Mariah, and I headed home. I showered, and then laid down on the couch at eleven thirty. I fell alseep by twelve and woke up at 1:45. Then, I went up stairs to my bed, and fell asleep until my dad woke me up at five thirty. As you can tell, I've had a pretty exciting day.

I'm so thankful for my girls. I always have such a great time with them, and I feel so free to be myself around them. They're an amazing group of girls, and I can't imagine what it would be like without them.

It's simple, really.

I don't know what I would do without these girls. They're my best friends. They help me want to strive to be a better person, and I know that with them, I can always be who I am. They've helped me reach a place of contentment. I'm so lucky to have them.

Home Sweet Home

It's good to be home!

"Surrender, Surrender," you whisper gently.

I am a huge control freak, and it seems to be something I can't control. How ironic! I like to plan things out, and if anything goes wrong, it completely throws me off, and I'm a wreck. I've had my future planned for a few years now. I know exactly what I want to be, where I want to go to school, where I'll live, how many kids I want, etc. It's kind of sick how many little details I have planned out. I was talking to my mom about San Diego today, and what we're going to do there. I was asking a ton of questions, and she said, "Syd, can't we just plan as we go?" That's when it hit me. I am always trying to get things planned so that everything will be perfect, and it will never lack excitement.
As I was getting ready today, a song by BarlowGirl came on shuffle, and it was a song titled "Surrender." The lyrics relate perfectly to what I've been feeling lately. Here they are:

My hands hold safly to my dreams
Clutching tightly not one has fallen
So many years I've shaped each one
Reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you're asking me to show
What I'm holding oh so tightly
Can't open my hands, can't let go
Does it matter?
Should I show you?
Can't you let me go?

Surrender, surrender you whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can't you see?
My dreams are me.
My dreams are me.

You say you have a plan for me
And that you want the best for my life
Told me the world had yet to see
What you can do with one
That's committed to Your calling
I know of course what I should do
That I can't hold these dreams forever
If I give them now to You
Will You take them away forever?
Or can I dream again?

I pray constantly that God will take everything into His hands and deal with them the way He wants to, not how I want them to happen. Kind of silly if I'm not going to let go of things, huh? I now understand that in order to fulfill a life that is wonderful, a life that God calls me to live, I need to give up everything, even the little dreams for my future. I need to free myself from these chains I've created. I need to let God take over so I can stop worrying, and live a little!

I saw the sign, and it opened up my eyes...

I was riding home from Phoenix with Leah and Lindsay when I saw a billboard that said, "We believe in Phoenix. We belive in YOU." As weird as this sounds, it captured my attention. Lately, I've been receiving emails from KLove and Air1 that have verses relating to keeping my faith strong, not being worried, and other things of that sort. Also, when I was in the car, I heard a song by David Crowder that said in the chorus, "You never let go." It's not a mystery or a surprise as to why I'm getting all of these "signs." I've been hitting some rough spots in my life, but with these little reminders, I know that my God is with me through it all. He believes in me. He'll protect me and help me through thick and thin. He'll never let go.

It's just been great having these daily reminders. My God is so cool.

Inevitable

It's a shame that it has taken me fifteen years to realize that my mother is my best friend. We were flying home from Colorado after my great grandma's funeral in April, and my mom and I were sitting together, clutching each other tightly, as we fought the fear of dreadful turbulence. My mom was squeezing the life out of my hand, and I could feel it going numb, but that was okay with me. She looked me in the eyes and said, "Thank you for being my friend." It was at that moment that the friend I had been dearly praying for, the one who would ALWAYS be there for me, and would let me cry and laugh about whatever I darn pleased, was my mom all along. My mom is my best friend. I spent the entire afternoon with her, shopping for all of my Hume "goodies." I got a hideous one piece, toiletries (which, in February, Alyssa realized wasn't just toilet paper, it really meant shampoo, conditioner, etc.), snacks for the bus ride, all that good stuff. We talked about everything, and just got to share the day together. I got so much done for Hume that I usually wait to do the day of the trip. :) I feel very accomplished. But anyways, back to my mom, it was just so great being able to spend today with her, and being able to share with her what has been on my mind. I feel that for a while, with everything that has been going on with our family, we've been starting to lose our closeness, which caused some tension, which stunk big time.

I also hung out with Leah tonight. We went to Angel Sweet to get ice cream, and we brought some back for my folks. We sat in my room and played "Truth or Dare." But really, our game just turned into a game of twenty questions because we were afraid of dares. Ha. It was so great spending time with her, though.

Our team at Hume Lake is going to win this year. I just know it. There's no doubt in my mind. But, I figured if I want to kick butt this year, I should start preparing. So, I started memorizing 2 Timothy 3-4:5. It's actually pretty good. I'm almost done memorizing chapter three, which is a HUGE deal for me, considering I'm terrible at memorizing things. I spent an hour memorizing the books of the Bible in order, and then I timed myself on how fast I could say them while I was babysitting one time. Pathetic. But, anyhow, it only took me like ten minutes to memorize chapter three. I hope I can remember it. :)

I found out today that I'm going to start teaching Sunday school for one of the grades in Studio 14 on Sunday nights. I'm super stoked for it. I love spending time with those kids. I miss my "KaBOOMers." :( I hope I have some of them in my group next year...but only the good ones. ;)

I should depart and go to bed, but I'll probably spend some more time on MySpace and continue memorizing.

Good Night!
Sydney

Size Matters...?

Steven Curtis Chapman once said after a visit to China, "...our eyes and hearts were opening to how big God really is, and we have wanted to experience more of that..." Lately, my God has been so small to me. What a shame it is to say, but it's true. Everything wrong in my life for the past few months has become such a burden on me, and like most people, I've wanted to keep it in my grasp and fix it by myself. God has other intentions, though. My God is too small to solve all of my problems, or maybe it's that my problems are too small for such a big God. How naive, right? How can I possibly thing that the Lord who created the universe is too small for any of my issues. It's completely mad. When Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife went to China to adopt one of their children, their eyes were open to a new world. God is so much bigger than most people give Him credit for, and that's terrible.

Well, in just the past couple of days, I've been able to experience just how big my Father actually is. Just by the people I surround myself with in my everyday life, I can see how God is at work in their lives, and how they're working in my life. Tonight I went TPing with Tori, Leah, Jessica, and Katie. We TP'd our new youth pastor and his family's house. It was so much fun, and it was great being able to spend time with such a great group of girls. Breanna joined us after we got caught, and we went to Sonic for a little while. It's a wonder how good you can feel when you surround yourself with other Christians, and girls who are on fire for God.

My God is a big, big God, and I'm dying to experience more of that.
Four days until Hume. I'm ready to get away. I'm ready to grow.